The Most Precious Moments Of Life

So I have not blogged in a really long time. I have been living a super busy life the last few weeks. Sofeya is so close to walking i bet in no time she will be, it kind of makes me sad because i just feel as though it was yesterday i was bringing her home for the first time, man does time fly! She is getting so big shes about 16 lbs and I'm not sure how tall but she is very tall for her age, she will be 9 months old on June 5th and on June 6th is her check up we will know for sure then! I hate check ups because when she gets her shots it makes me feel so bad for her and i feel angry with the nurses because i feel as though there hurting my baby but i know there not and these are good for her and her health. Marcus told me he loves Sofeya and when he told me it made my heart melt, The  man i love loves me and my daughter and i couldn't be happier than i am with this little "family" i have at least that's what i like to call it, Sofeya is not his but sometimes i wish she was, her dad is not around, he never calls never texts to see how she is doing. He pays his child support and that is it and when i ask him why he doesn't he says its because of me because I'm so mean to him, that shouldn't matter, if he showed more effort i wouldn't be so mean. He says he cant afford to come and get her and thinks i should be bringing her half way because that is what hes paying child support for, well in my opinion and the way i feel about it is that i should not have to go half way, its his visitation his responsibility, after how him and his girlfriend has treated me in the past i don't feel like being nice to them and helping them out, neither one of them have treated me with respect. He tells me hes going to take me to court but what i don't understand is how can he afford to take me to court about the issue, and can afford to come all the way to Appleton for court, but cant afford to come and pick up his daughter, i don't think he really is because i have yet to see court papers in the mail, i think hes just trying to scare me but its not going to scare me, he says I'm keeping Sofeya away from him but I'm not he can come on his weekends to see her or if hes in town he can easily call me up to see her but he never asks, and i don't feel its my responsibility to ask him if hes going to come and pick her up. he hasn't seen her since January that's 4 months almost 5, shes grown so much since then hes missing out on the most precious time of her life, she doesn't know him, she calls Marcus Dada and yes that makes me happy and yes i did say i wish she was his but that is because he is around and he is the male figure in her life that she needs but it makes me sad because when she gets older its going to hurt her, shes going to wonder where her dad is, how the hell do you explain that to a child, i have no clue, if any of you do please enlighten me! I may be mean to him but that is because i hold so much resentment against him from the past and now its because he is pretty much disappeared out of her life and it hurts me. I try every time i talk to him to hold back my feelings toward him for our daughter but its so hard when he says stupid stuff and tells me what i should be doing, i let him control me and my life for far too long I'm not going to let him continue to do it.


Well on a brighter note Sofeya says two words mama and Dada, she also goes mmmm when she eats something she likes. Sometimes ill catch her eating the dog food for some reason she likes it, i hate that because i hate sticking my finger in her mouth to get it out. She can be a little brat lol ill see her pick up the dog food and almost put it in her mouth and ill say Sofeya NO and run over by her but before i can get her she puts it in her mouth looks at me and goes mmmm! She definitely has my attitude lol. She also will move her hand away if you try to take something away, its so cute but at the same time i have to teach her right from wrong and have to tell her no. Shes always laughing, smiling, playing, shes such a good baby hardly ever fussy, she also sings along with the music in the car and shes so incredibly smart. I have gotten very lucky with her and i couldn't imagine life with out her i love her so much shes the sunshine to my dark days, i look forward to leaving work everyday because i know in a few short minutes ill be seeing her smiling face, when she sees me you can tell she has missed me she will push away from others to come by me and for me to pick her up and i cant walk out of room without her because she cries. Last night was the most precious moments of all she was sleeping and it was getting late so i decided to wake her up because it was just a nap and i did not want her not sleep at night but she didn't want to wake up so she laid on my chest and slept some more so i thought well she needs a diaper change so i went to change and it she woke up but she layed on my chest and watched TV with me no fussy to go play or to be put down, it felt so precious and nice for my baby to finally let me hold her for a long period of time like when she was a newborn, it was one of those picture perfect moments! 

SOME KID'S PARENTS

So I didn't post yesterday because I was super busy. Me and Sofeya went on the MS walk oh boy was that exhausting, 3.2 miles! Then afterwards we had to trick my sister going somewhere with me because we were throwing her a surprise cookout, it was really fun and the food was amazing, definitely stuffed my face! We waited around all day waiting on my bed to get to my house that my uncle was supposed to bring to me, that never happened, it was excuse after excuse pretty much giving us the run around, some people are just plain ridiculous! You know if your just honest with me and tell me the trust I'm more than likely going to understand and have more respect for you then if you sit there and purposely lie to me, because when i find out i was told lies ill lose all respect for you and be really pissed. Well the bad afternoon turned into a pretty good night, Sofeya and myself went over to Marcus'. We spent the night of course sofeya had a great night she always does when she gets to spend time with him and they play. When Sofeya went to bed we put her pack n play in his room so we could watch movies and hang out and not bother her and she stayed in there the whole night! We fell asleep on the couch, and the purpose of going over there was so there would be a bed to sleep in ha ha. 


Today we woke up and just kinda hung out around Marcus' apartment, then we got ready came back into Appleton (he lives in freedom), payed my rent for the month of may, went to Stevie B's because it is oh so good! YUMM! and it is very reasonably cheap. Sofeya had her first black olive today and by the look on her face she wasn't sure what to think of it, and of course she stored it in her cheek. Sofeya stores food in her cheeks when you put it in her mouth and chews on it every once and a while, i think she does that to savor the taste. We ran into my parents three times today while driving i thought it was quite hilarious! When we got home i got a phone call, guess what it was? MY BED WAS ON ITS WAY!! I was so excited! So after all was said and done things finally came into place thank goodness, i got sick of waking up on the floor because of the hole in my air mattress. OOH and one last thought before i head to bed, I read on facebook by some girl, her baby has to be only about 3 months old, and guess what her post said? she was going to make her baby a facebook...WTF IS UP WITH THAT!! I commented of course, I mean why in the hell would you make your 3 month old baby a facebook? There are so many creeps and pedophiles out there, would you really want to subject your child to that? My opinion i think a facebook is absolutely ridiculous for a child under the age of 15,(high school age). I know its my opinion and my thought process and it may not be what other people think but i think its ridiculous. I don't want to be strict on sofeya to the point where she rebels against me but i do want to protect her from the evils in this world as best as I can and if that means putting some strict guidelines on her then that is what I'm going to do. OK everyone thanks for reading! see ya tomorrow! 

Routine

So I'm awake and do not want to be, I'm tired but miss sofeya loves to be up this early everyday, but she goes down for a nap around 11 which is nice so i can catch a little bit of Zs. I feel as if I'm on a routine, its the same day after day. Wake up, change and feed sofeya, take a shower, get ready for the day. The one thing to me that never gets old or feels like routine is when sofeya sees me in the morning, she has the biggest smile and it makes my heart melt. So here's the game plan for today!

1.)Get ready for the day of course :)

2.)Take my sister to my parents house

3.)Do laundry

4.)lunch and nap time for miss sofeya and myself

5.)Sofeya and I hanging out with Grandma and Grandpa (my parents)

6.)Have friends over for the night YAY!!

7.)Go to bed and get refreshed for the big MS walk tomorrow and seeing Marcus because me and miss sofeya have missed him so much!

You know i enjoy being a mom everyday, i love my daughter so much and i don't regret bringing her into the world ever. Everyday i thank God for giving me her, she has taught me a lot and because of her i am a better person. I just hope that i can raise her to be the best person she can be. I cant wait to teach her new things, teach her wrong from right, and just always be there for her through thick and thin. God has given me the best gift, A CHILD! So yes my life right now is routine and it gets exhausting and tiring but seeing and being with Sofeya everyday life couldn't get much better than this.

NEW TO BLOGGING

So i am new to this whole blogging thing, but it has striked my interest so that is why i am starting. My main goal on my blog is to talk about and "journal" the day to day life of being a single mother, the struggles, the ups the downs, the hardships, the love, i might even dabble into the financial aspect which of course is not easy, not one bit. I am what you call a "single" mother because i am not married to the father of my child, but i do have a boyfriend, so i dont really like to think im a "single" mother, even though the definition says so. I will also talk about my life as a woman. I am basically using a blog in place of a personal journal that is hand written, so if i get off of "topic" please excuse me. So i hope all you enjoy reading! I hope to hear from all of you! Have a great day!